Saturday, April 14, 2001

Guy #1 told me that the first thing he noticed about me, the night we met, was what I was wearing. Haha... I think it had more to do with the fact that my outfit was very body conscious. He's just too polite to say so.

A friend and I were talking about Guy #1 and myself. She commented that he was very quiet. Yes he is... sorta reserved. But he did have the guts to approach me that time at the club. And I was so impressed with the way he did it. It was so right.

Out of the two of us, I'm the bad one. I like this. I just want to excite him.

He asked me if I would ever desensitize to the feeling of his fingers touching my stomach. And I told him no... no I wouldn't.
posted by Erica at 1:42 AM

Ugh... so it's official. I've caught the bug that's been going around campus. It's a 10 day virus... so mine should be gone by the time I'm ready to move back home. Really sucks to be sick when the weather has been relatively nice, and it's getting warmer, and I have to sit in a gym full of panicking students like myself, coughing and blowing my nose. Frig.

But I have been making tea every night, using up the rest of the hunk of ginger that Guy #1 brought me. I've gotten quite a liking to it actually.

I've been talking with my girlfriends about relationships. We're all in some version of one right now. All with differing problems. I've decided that I'm quite content to be at the stage that I'm at right now. Just dating. No boyfriend, nothing set in stone. Just enjoying another person's company... And being sorta attached to them. But no pressure to feel like this is perfect. I feel so mature :P.

Of course, the thought of Guy #2 still hovers around my thoughts now and then.
posted by Erica at 1:18 AM

Friday, April 13, 2001

Thursday, April 12, 2001

I don't have a regular doctor. When I'm sick, I go to walk-in clinics. I went to one of these walk-in doctors for a cold when I was about 14 years old. My mom was in the waiting room and I was in his office. The first thing he asked me, before asking me anything else, was "Are you a virgin? Don't worry, I won't tell your mom." At the time I was sorta baffled, but I didn't think too hard about why he was asking this. So I just told him simply "Yes." I was 14 years old. What a sicko. I was too young to realize that this had nothing to do with his diagnosis of my cold.

I went back to the same doctor, perhaps the next year, and I complained about a dull ache in my upper arm. He said, "Maybe it's breast cancer. You should do monthly checks." He proceeded to put his hand on my right breast, on top of my clothes, on top of my bra. He kept his hand there, feigning a thoughtful look, before removing it. I don't remember too much about the rest of the appointment except that I was sorta shocked. I don't think he tried anything else. He was not checking for lumps. He basically copped a feel.

After that one appointment I never went back to him again. And I never told anyone about what happened.
posted by Erica at 7:44 PM

I still have a crush on Guy #2... and I sorta want to tell him but I guess it would be selfish of me. Because I'm not exactly available. I was talking to him briefly on ICQ last night... and maybe 10 minutes after the conversation ended, Guy #1 dropped in on me.

Guy #1 brought me ginger and brown sugar to make tea. He knew I had a sore throat - what a genuinely sweet guy he is!

Well I guess I'm sorta a player... but sorta not. I have the best of intentions, even though they are tinged with a slight selfishness. I really like Guy #1, though I'm not sure if we really have chemistry. Sometimes I wonder if it's going really well because we have actual chemistry, or because we're just really nice people and we get along. We enjoy eachother's company though. Well we'll see. I figure, if it wasn't meant to be, then eventually it will fall apart.
posted by Erica at 4:17 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2001

Jukeboxes in random side street cafes...
Open windows in student hotel rooms...
Live music on the streets...
Vendors that will put beads in your hair...
Dark, noisy jazz clubs with broken glass...
Sitting on the curb talking about cars we'll own...
Holding hands on a sleeping bus...

These are my favorite memories from my trip to New Orleans when I was in Grade 9.
posted by Erica at 2:23 AM

Tuesday, April 10, 2001

So bad little me. I ICQed Guy #2 the day after our date. I felt bad and all... he was so great. So I messaged him telling him again that I really did have a good time with him and that he was great to talk to. He messaged me back. He gave me his phone number so I can just call next time instead of ICQing him all the time. :) I don't know when I should call him, if at all. Though I don't want to lose touch with him.
posted by Erica at 3:42 AM

Monday, April 09, 2001

Don't get me wrong... Guy #1 is great. He treats me so well and I don't see anything going wrong with our relationship in the near future. However, I'm starting to realize I don't like being dependent. I don't like waiting for him to pick me up, I don't like waiting for him to call when he's supposed to. The sacrifices we make I guess.
posted by Erica at 7:17 PM

Sunday, April 08, 2001

All the time I spent getting ready for our dinner date paid off. The first thing he said when he saw me was "You look really good." And I know he meant it by the way his eyes wouldn't leave me. The way he smiled immediately when he saw me. The way he actually (finally!) let his eyes travel on me.
posted by Erica at 1:32 AM

As his hand travels up my skin
He leaves a trail of nerves
Jumping to lick the flame.
posted by Erica at 12:30 AM

I think Guy #1 has an on/off switch for his inner libido. And most of the time it's off. I wish I had such self-control.
posted by Erica at 12:08 AM