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Friday, July 20, 2001
If you put all the boys I've ever dated in one room, they would have absolutely nothing in common. I can picture them now... standing there awkwardly, shuffling their feet...There would be R with his beautiful blue eyes and blond hair - quiet with a boyish grin. Then D, with his intellectual arrogance and glasses. Then H, with his chigger style, baseball hat, goofiness and attitude. Throw in B, the oldest of the bunch, his chiseled features. Then Guy #1, probably the quietest one.
This is a situation out of fantasy land. All these guys are so different, the room would probably implode. It would be so interesting to see, but there is no such occasion where any of these guys would be together in my wildest imagination.
posted by Erica at 4:12 PM
So as I was saying, my sister is back from Hong Kong. The last time either of us went was back when I was in Grade 5. Let's see... I was about 10 years old, so that was about 11 years ago! Wow - now I feel old. Geez... I've actually lived through 2 decades. That never really hit me before, even though I've been 20 for quite a while now...
Anyway, since my Dad is working there now, Hong Kong looms much more on my mind than it ever did before. I'm just a typical, white-washed, CBC chick that pictures herself living in the city here in Canada all her life. Ever since my Dad got his job there, both my Mom and him drop hints about me and my sister eventually living and working there too. And before my sister went on her trip, both of us were very stubborn and tried to squash any hopes of that happening.
Now that my sister is back, she's changed her mind. She loved it in Hong Kong. So much different from when we went as kids. And after listening to all her stories, and seeing all the things she's brought back with her, my own curiosity about Hong Kong is growing. I think our family will be going there this Christmas break to visit my Dad. I think I'm really looking forward to it now.
posted by Erica at 11:02 AM
I think I may be going to the beach this weekend with my sister. She just returned from Hong Kong this week. I'll have a chance to give my office skin some much needed sun... I've been dying to go to the beach all summer!
posted by Erica at 10:53 AM
I just finished reading "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" by Dave Eggers. It's really good. He writes quite well... stream-of-consciousness style, and I wish I wrote more like him.
posted by Erica at 9:43 AM
Thursday, July 19, 2001
Sometimes I think it would be a good idea to die on my birthday. My 21st birthday is approaching - how appropriate would that be? The birthday that I both treasure and despise.Okay, I don't despise my birthday - just everyone and myself on that day. Espescially that day.
posted by Erica at 4:16 PM
As time goes by, we all become clichés of ourselves.
posted by Erica at 4:15 PM
Wednesday, July 18, 2001
The idea that H will be in the same small university town as me this coming school term makes my skin crawl.Last night I was thinking about everything that had happened with respect to him and I just got angrier and angrier. So I got up from my bed, turned on a lamp and just spewed all my hatred and pissed-off-ness into my diary. I eventually fell asleep, and woke up this morning feeling better. But I haven't really made peace with it, and I don't know if I ever will, unless I actually talk to him about it, but that's very unlikely.
posted by Erica at 4:20 PM
Sunday, July 15, 2001
I'm excited to go back to school. Not for school, but just for the life I have there. The freedom. Being surrounded by all my friends. Being on my own, in my own life.At the same time, I get in this mindset that it's hard to believe that I'll be there. That I haven't hit a wall here.
I no longer feel so excited about going out. I don't even enjoy clubbing lately, which used to be the cure-all for me. I just feel like staying home, and yeeesh... why aren't there more interesting things on TV? What's wrong with me?
posted by Erica at 8:58 PM
You know, I'm not really a flirt. Sorry if the title of this page is misleading.
I am only able to flirt when I am completely comfortable with the person. Otherwise I am nervous and too self-conscious to be a flirt.
posted by Erica at 8:35 PM
I told my friend T that I didn't really believe in love anymore. Inside, I don't really know if that's true or not though. T doesn't strike me as the romantic type, but she was taken aback by what I said. She said she still believed in love. That "L" word sort of strikes me as scary. I always thought that I would only say that word to one person in this lifetime, but the possibility of that seems unlikely to me now.
I feel like saying those words, and really believing them, would leave me too vulnerable. Too open for destruction.
Hmm. I guess I have trust issues.
posted by Erica at 8:14 PM
I wish I was a kid again. If I was, I would run on the lawn in my bathing suit, jumping through the water sprinkler, squealing and laughing the whole way.
posted by Erica at 1:38 PM
