s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Saturday, August 04, 2001
So I found out something weird about my sister and Guy #1. Something that neither of them mentioned to me.My sister didn't want me to be mad. Well I'm not... not exactly. It's just weird. It just fuels all these insecurities about myself that I've always had. And it just brings Guy #1 a notch down in my head.
I guess I can't expect too much from people. People are just people. We're all just milling around like ants everyday anyway.
posted by Erica at 3:21 AM
Friday, August 03, 2001
Woo hoo long weekend!!posted by Erica at 4:27 PM
Mmm... I'm quite excited about tonight.
I think the key to happiness is friends. If I could only learn to be more social... I'm lucky most people have patience with me.
posted by Erica at 4:06 PM
Sometimes I'm not sure who it is I see when I look in the mirror.
posted by Erica at 9:05 AM
Wednesday, August 01, 2001
I drink rye and ginger ale in honour of my ex B.posted by Erica at 9:14 PM
In another life I could've done better with what I have.
In another life I could've been happier.
In another life I could've had hope.
In another life I could've been doing what I want.
Don't you see the mistakes I've made?
Don't you see the places where I paused too long or where I just said no?
Do you not also see the places where I jumped too fast or where I just gave in?
I closed the doors on myself leaving my spirit in a windowless, blank hall.
A better life was out there waiting for me and I didn't recognize it as mine.
posted by Erica at 8:45 PM
Tuesday, July 31, 2001
Geez... I don't know where I want to be.Do I want to be at home? My home home is there, my family, the malls, the clubs, the food.
Or do I want to be at school? That's where I have more of a life, but then there's the stress, but that's where all my friends that I miss are.
For a while I was dying to go back to school. But now I don't know where I want to be. There are things I don't want to deal with in either situations.
posted by Erica at 4:11 PM
I think I dreamed of S last night. I woke up this morning with the feeling that I had spoken to him... but it's really been months since I've even seen him.
It's so hard to remember dreams... especially when you're jolted out of your sleep by an alarm broadcasting whatever annoying morning show. I tried so hard to think about what context I dreamed about him in. Perhaps I saw him and spoke to him, or maybe he saw me and then approached me.
I guess it doesn't matter, it was just a dream.
Maybe by dreaming about him, I can rid him from my subconscious, and finally expel him from my thoughts.
posted by Erica at 10:58 AM
Sunday, July 29, 2001
I think that life is good again. I bounce between wanting to kill myself on my upcoming birthday and then thoroughly enjoying myself and loving everybody.Am I manic??
Dunno.
But yeah, don't worry bout me, I'll be okay.
posted by Erica at 11:31 PM
