s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Friday, August 10, 2001
Okay, it's not that I believe that Guy #1 liked my sister more than me, it just bothers me that he was interested in her long before he ever met me. He can't help that it happened, but it just doesn't sit that comfortably with me.posted by Erica at 1:06 PM
Thursday, August 09, 2001
NO!! I won't let common sense get in the way of me feeling bad for myself!!posted by Erica at 10:13 PM
Okay so here's the deal with what happened between my sister and Guy #1. When Guy #1 met my sister for the first time while he and I were dating, he told me afterwards that he recognized her. They had both volunteered at a Dragon Boat festival a long while back. Okay, cool, whatever.
Well, just in an off moment recently, my sister said to me, "So are you totally over Guy #1?" I told her of course. I thought it was an odd question, other than the night of the actual break up, I didn't really have a hard time with it. Well she then told me that when they had met at that Dragon Boat festival, he had actually picked her up. He asked for her number. But he never ended up calling her.
So anyone that knows me very well (haha... funny - no one actually knows me that well) knows that I have this inferiority complex when it comes to my sister. Especially when it comes to guys. Guys love my sister. Even guys that are my very good friends - when they meet my sister, they are so impressed with her. She stuns them. They love her. And then there's me, standing in the background scowling (fuck you all).
My sister said that she didn't tell me before because she knew I'd be angry. I mused out loud to her that Guy #1 never said anything about that to me. She said he probably knew it would make me angry. At first I was determined to not let it make me angry. But of course when it sank in, it made me angry.
Haven't talked or seen Guy #1 since I saw him at the club. Not for any reason in particular. I think he'll be finishing his last school term sometime this week and then leaving for Europe for 6 weeks. Who knows. My mom still asks about him.
But now he just joins the list of all the guys that love my sister more. My best guy friend in high school loved her. S, the one I can't stop thinking about to this day, loved her. He had even heard of her before he met me. Boy did I change in his eyes once he found out I was her sister. She even flirted with B, my ex, on the phone when we were dating. Perhaps she was intimidated that I was dating someone older than her. Cold Soba do you understand better now what exactly happened when I got angry with you that time? And now Guy #1...
posted by Erica at 10:09 PM
I think I can feel good about myself as long as I have a sexy pair of shoes on and my face and hair look okay. Then I can fake it as good as anyone.
posted by Erica at 3:41 PM
Wednesday, August 08, 2001
I can't wait to go to Hong Kong this Christmas and get myself a husband! (What?? Only guys are allowed to joke about that?)posted by Erica at 5:09 PM
This summer I had just been letting my hair grow out. It was all one length, black and long. It was time for a change so yesterday I went to get it cut.
My mom always makes me go to the least expensive place she can find - A Chinese place every time. So we stopped in this place and it was empty except for two youngish guys sitting at the reception desk. So my mom dropped me off there and I showed one of the hairdressers a picture of the kind of cut I wanted.
The guy doing my hair was pretty cute. A fob - he spoke to me in Chinese at first, and I could respond back in Chinese somewhat haltingly. I guess I had him fooled because he kept talking to me in Chinese, until the word "yesterday" eluded me, so I said it in English.
After that he spoke to me in English. He was so nice to me! I think I love him. He spent a good hour and a half doing my hair. I love him and I love my new hair.
posted by Erica at 1:10 PM
Tuesday, August 07, 2001
What will next year be like?Good? Bad? Different? The same? What do I want to do? Will I be able to do it? I need to figure things out and organize.
posted by Erica at 12:10 AM
I think I'm a really boring person. I should have been born mute, cause then no one would expect me to say anything.
posted by Erica at 12:07 AM
I can be neurally enhanced with a little chemical help.
posted by Erica at 12:06 AM
I should save my money for therapy so I can get those therapeutic drugs I need so badly.
posted by Erica at 12:05 AM
My hate makes me cry.
I hate everything.
posted by Erica at 12:03 AM
Sunday, August 05, 2001
I love, love, love Jacksoul's "Eastbound." Great, laidback song. I feel so cool when I listen to it.posted by Erica at 3:29 AM
A future?
What am I planning for anyway?
Do I really know what I want?
I want the life.
I want to suceed in my studies. I want a secure, comfortable and fulfilling career. I want to experience living downtown. I want to live the life.
I want laughter and smiles. I want dreamy skies and city lights. I want stars in my eyes.
posted by Erica at 3:06 AM
