s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Thursday, November 15, 2001
We were watching the new episode of "Friends" today. Ross tells his current love interest Mona that he "really likes her."Upon hearing that I turned to Peggy and said "Ha. That doesn't mean anything. KGuy told me that he really liked me too."
Okay, so maybe there are a few things left that need to be said about KGuy that I need to get out of my head. All with time...
11:30 PM
Christmas is almost here!
I see bright city lights, the sprawling cityscape of Hong Kong looms in my imagination...
Scary. Exciting. Soon...
5:44 PM
Wow I wish I had something more interesting to say for the sake of updating, but my mind is blank.
I actually have nothing new to say about KGuy. I guess I talked myself out! This is good therapy, I recommend it to anyone trying to get over someone. Just write out everything and anything you have to say about the subject. Keep doing this til you draw a blank. Until you have nothing else to say about that person. It's on that day that you'll find, with relief, that you are feeling so much better.
4:41 PM
Things are good - well not great, but so much better.
Apathetic about school. I think its time for a change. Luckily this term has gone by quickly, but, unfortunately, not painlessly.
I wouldn't say that I've forgiven Kguy, but maybe my anger has really cooled off. It's no longer front and center in my mind.
Going home this weekend - finally! My dad is over from Hong Kong, as are my grandparents, so lots of family stuff. I'm glad my dad is back, but I'm also a little aprehensive about my grandmother. She's never liked me, and lately, I think she's been experiencing dementia. From what I've heard anyway, I haven't actually seen it for myself.
She's from the old school train of thought. Where girls don't need education, just good looks to snag a husband - and yes, she's actually expressed this outrageous idea to me and everyone else that will listen. Ack - that side of the family is so messed up. So we'll see how things go this weekend.
Anyway, I just have to get my motivation back up academic wise. I've been looking at professional school application in the big city... sorta scary and exciting...
12:11 AM
Tuesday, November 13, 2001
Feeling better?I think. But you never know. I thought I was feeling better last week too, but then I broke down on Friday. I was sitting in Math class all down that day. That class is pretty big and I always sit inconspcuously in the back. I think from back there my prof could tell I was on the verge of tears, maybe it was in my imagination but he looked concerned in my direction a few times.
Anyway, I get to go home this weekend for the first time since September. Yup, I've been pretty hard core this school term, trying to try at least. It will be a nice break. I get to stay over til Tuesday morning too, because my sister's convocation is on Monday, so I'm skipping classes (that's gonna hurt my marks though). My dad and my grandparents are over from Hong Kong, so it should be pretty crazy.
Back to the books...
10:56 AM
Sunday, November 11, 2001
I need constant music in my life. I have my winamp going 24/7. Here is my soundtrack du jour:Nickleback - How You Remind Me
Sammi Cheng - Theme from "Summer Holiday"
Missy Elliot ft. Ginuwine - Take Away
Cowboy Junkies - Miles From Our Home
Dido - Here With Me
6:25 PM
I'm sorry to say that I've become a complete basketcase. The stress is breaking me down. I can't handle it. I can't bear it.
5:18 PM
The sky can't make up it's mind - whether it wants to be beautiful blue or dark dark dark. So it's something in between, this drab, cloudy, nothing, gloomy thing.
Much like myself.
Strong. Not strong.
Okay. Not okay.
Happy. Not happy.
Studying. Not studying.
Careless. Careful.
Nothing really.
Threw me out like garbage. Didn't even respect me enough to tell me he was breaking up with me.
I'm miles from my home. Like the Cowboy Junkies song. I'm listening to it right now.
4:48 PM
