s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Saturday, February 02, 2002
Why do I not feel woo hoo about this? Maybe because I overestimated how good he is at kissing the other night. He doesn't seem to notice that the chemistry is not all there, but he also didn't notice how dry my cooking is, which is a good thing. Hmmm...12:47 AM
Friday, February 01, 2002
He's gone now... but I can still smell him on my skin.10:53 PM
So I was nervous all day about making RGuy dinner. And I got everything together... but it was... dry! Argh... the rice was dry, the chicken was dry... the only thing that wasn't dry was the broccoli, and it was just okay. But he ate it all and said it was good anyway.
He asked me to be his girlfriend... and I smiled... and said yes.
I do like him, but I don't really think that this has long term potential (not that I have a clear idea of what that is anyway). But yeah, that's no reason to not give him a chance. Maybe I'll change my mind later on.
10:28 PM
Ahh... it was a good kiss tonight... :)
12:35 AM
Thursday, January 31, 2002
The whole city is covered in this thick blanket of snow and it's just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.The sky can't be dark because of the snow... it glows pink instead...
7:45 PM
What lives in my heart? Music for sure. It flows, it ebbs, it’s constant, it’s full blast.
Rich lives there. My first boyfriend. The sweetest. With him, a song about open windows and longing. The blue eyes, the blond hair. Tim also lives in my heart. So earnest, so eager… Walks in the park, and around the soccer field. I cried my good-bye to him. Jeff lives there too. He whispers in my ear and holds my hand. He tells me I have a beautiful smile. He owns the softest spot in my heart.
My heart asks Why do we run? My heart wants to know Who’s responsible for the pain? But all along, it knows the answer...
My heart doesn't actually know love, but expects to meet it one day.
12:30 AM
Wednesday, January 30, 2002
Tomorow I'm seeing a movie with RGuy and Friday is when I'm gonna make him dinner.... P insists on not being here for that... though it was not my original intention for it to be just me and him!Anyway, I don't know what to wear! Hmm... I can't find my black camisole and shrug set, even though shrugs are no longer stylish, it seems so appropriate. And I'd be naughty and have my black bra straps peaking out... heh heh... Okay, but all that is irrevalent if I can't find my shrug...
7:09 PM
Tuesday, January 29, 2002
Study dates are the bread and butter of the student couple.9:33 PM
I often find myself smiling to myself because I am thinking evil thoughts (in the middle of class, in lecture, while walking...).
7:51 PM
I love love love Weezer's "Across The Sea."
I used to consider myself a hard core fan. I always wished I was the girl in that song.
(I can write cute letters too...)
7:38 PM
I think I'm going to make that Lemon Chicken dish my signature dish.
I may have RGuy over for dinner and I guess I'll make that. Sorta scared! I sorta didn't mean to invite him, I mean, I wanted to see him and spend time with him, I mean, KGuy used to come over all the time. But it's become this big deal now... P might not even be home, it was supposed to be casual, just hanging out, but now it feels like it's gonna be this intimate dinner date.
6:57 PM
Does anyone ever know what they're doing?
Ever???
I don't.
3:28 PM
First midterm of the term today. I think I'm dead. What the f*ck did I do this weekend?? I don't think I was studying!
8:02 AM
Monday, January 28, 2002
I think the trick to phone conversations are to keep them short. This time around anyway.I'm not a natural phone person, and I don't think RGuy is either. Our conversations only ever last about 20 or 30 minutes.
But keeping the conversation short prevents us from talking about garbage and wasting time. There's plenty of time to get to know each other, there's no rush.
It also leaves me wanting more... And this is key.
11:13 PM
Sunday, January 27, 2002
Y'know why I love the small town university life? It's just like a big sleepover camp... sorta. Cause I'm surrounded by my friends (also my housemates) more or less 24/7. We hang out together, we eat together, we go to school together, we study together. I love it. Whereever I go, I'm sure to bump into more friends. It's awesome.11:41 PM
I have my worries.
I don't know if I trust RGuy 100%. I mean, I know he acknowledged that it was a mistake. But how easy was it for him to make that mistake?
It will take a while before I relax and let my guard down.
But at the same time, possibilities for this one seem to be good. He's a good guy, I know this much. I have to give him credit for Thursday, it took some guts for him to do it. He told me that he only told one person that he was going to do it because he figured that chances were high that I would just yell at him. As much as I had wanted to yell at him after Saturday, he was so so very sweet on Thursday. And I couldn't help but let my heart melt.
6:14 PM
Sometimes I feel like the whole world is mad at me.
2:40 PM
