s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Saturday, April 13, 2002
Three exams down... only one more - and it's on the 19th.So I just let my brain drain yesterday after Calculus... sat around and watched TV... I just needed to do a whole lot of nothing.
This morning I slept in, woke up and cleaned the apartment. I feel so good now... Cleaning is therapeutic for me.
Going on a mini-break (a la Bridget Jones) with RGuy today. Going to Niagara falls.. gonna drive down and meet some of his high school friends - none of whom I've met yet. Should be fun! Sorta excited :).
Right now I'm loving Digable Planets, Donell Jones "You Know That I Love You," "Leaving" and "Unfoolish (foolish remix)" by Ashanti and Timbaland... P. Diddy and Usher...
3:04 PM
Thursday, April 11, 2002
Quick look outside while the sun is still setting... it's beautiful.7:37 PM
I love how when the weather is nice - everyone comes out of hiding.
I've never seen so many people out and about on campus in a while. People are wearing shorts and tank tops, they're out jogging, they're biking, laughing, idling.
Just 2 days ago we were bundling up in our scarves and long johns. Two days.
I just with I didn't have to coop up studying.
6:11 PM
One thing I'm grateful for is that my old diary "Who's She?" allowed me to grow. And people saw me mature from a trembling high school kid, insecure and depressed, to a young woman, up to this point, where I am no longer trembling, a little more sure in my standing, and a little less insecure and a lot less depressed.
Thank you.
10:46 AM
Woo hoo! I have a job interview with a temp agency when I get back home!
I was so worried about getting a job this summer... hopefully this will lead to something.
10:42 AM
I don't want to go through the slow fading, the slow death, of a relationship forced to stretch between long distances. I just don't think it would work.
.
.
.
But I guess I would be willing to try.
12:59 AM
I think I'm in love with the sky.
Today it was light blue, clear and unmarred. So, so beautiful. Like it was singing for me.
I can wax poetic about the sky.
Tonight it is deep. Unending and mysterious, framed from below by the traffic lights. Full of hope. Perfect.
12:08 AM
Wednesday, April 10, 2002
I've never had it this good with anyone before at this point in a relationship. It's sorta scary but amazing. This is new territory with me.With Guy #1, at 2 months things were already starting to fade. But if anything, RGuy and I are just getting closer...
I've gotten to the point where I'm asking him to try to find a coop job in my hometown. Before I never would have dreamed of doing that. But I'm asking him to try because I don't want to be far from him in the summer. I don't want to resort to monthly visits and long-distance calls. That just won't do.
1:53 AM
Tuesday, April 09, 2002
If I had a dime for every time I thought Holy fuck in my head during that exam today, I'd be able to buy a couple more coffees by now...5:10 PM
I have new found respect for RGuy - I found out that he pays for his own tuition - no help from his parents.
I always feel so spoiled. My parents support me. I contribute my some of my own money to my tuition, and I pay for my own lifestyle (food, clothes) but the money I contribute to my tuition is more symbolic than helpful.
Anyway, speaking of money - I'm still unemployed. What am I going to do this summer if I don't work??
10:20 AM
Monday, April 08, 2002
I adore the Oscars, but this was so, so funny.This too....
Can you tell that I'm not working at my 100% study capacity?
Actually what I really want to do is Pilates (so what else is new?) - I haven't worked out in ages.
And I want to talk to RGuy - oh no, I think I've got it bad.
11:11 PM
I just watched a Food TV show on the opening of the resteraunt Moshimoro in Philedelphia. And now I have such a craving for the tuna sashimi pizza with anchovie mayonnaise that they were serving. Hmm... when am I ever going to be in Philedelphia?
1:06 AM
Sunday, April 07, 2002
So so tired from being in the library all day.Being in final exams really sucks.
I think I was going crazy in there.
I came home and I called RGuy. I just wanted to say a quick hello and then get off the phone and do more work, but we just talked for more than an hour. It's nice to be close. Things aren't perfectly smooth, but that's only when it comes to particular things. Otherwise things are fine.
Sometimes I still get itchy feet syndrome though. But maybe it's just paranoia.
It's hard to say what will be in the future - this summer. It looks like we might not be in the same town. And I don't know if doing the long distance thing will work, like I've said before, I've tried it once before and things just faded. We'll see...
11:58 PM
I think I'm starting to feel really stressed.
Just everything is getting me down. I sit in the library staring at my books and I start to let the little things come down on me. And I start multiplying feelings and blowing things out of proportion in my head. And then I hate myself.
I wish I wasn't such a slave to my own impulses.
1:11 PM
