s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Friday, May 10, 2002
I hate her for calling me "so damn stupid" when I am the smartest person in this family.I hate her for claiming to let me make all my own decisions when she yells at me when my decisions don't match up with hers.
I hate her for making me miserable when I have been so damn obedient all my life.
How will I bear the next four months until I go back to school?
5:35 PM
God. I think this is the last time I will ever live at home. Mostly, me and my mom get along fine. But when we don't, it's unbearable.
She screams, and she says horrible things to me. We don't argue - it's usually her yelling at me and me taking it.
I think I will stay up at school next summer, and find a job up there or take extra courses. I will work my ass off if it means that I can move out.
5:31 PM
Thursday, May 09, 2002
One of my best friends in high school was A. He was like me gay best friend, but he wasn't gay. We got along so well, he knew me inside out, better than I knew myself, according to him.The best thing about him is that he laughed at me like I was the funniest person in the world.
I should really call him.
3:55 PM
Ugh... I'm sick. Runny nose, sore throat, coughing, the works. Sucks. Especially when it's summer.
I'm gonna get registered with yet another temp agency on Monday. That's the third one! Surely one of these agencies will have work for me!
I'm spending tomorow night with my sister going out, and RGuy is coming to visit on Saturday probably.
He's been e-mailing me from work. Just quick little notes. He signed off his last letter "Feel better babe!" and that made me smile. :)
3:42 PM
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
I saw the video for Rufus Wainwright's "Across the Universe" yesterday. It was in the soundtrack for "I Am Sam" - the movie with Sean Penn as the mentally challenged father. The little girl from the movie was in the video. Through out the video, she's in a red dress holding on to a red balloon.It just reminded me of one of my memories from my childhood. My family and I were at an amusement park, I was little... who knows how old... maybe 6? They were selling pink balloons and my parents bought me one. I loved it. Balloons are cool when you're little.
But I let it go... by accident. I watched that balloon float to the sky never to return. God, I was devastated. How tragic for a little girl to lose her balloon.
So my parents (it's so hard to imagine them doing this) bought me another - and this time they tied the string around my wrist so I wouldn't lose it.
I just love that memory.
10:00 PM
Monday, May 06, 2002
I've gone through 3 books already since coming back from school:Amy Tan's "The Bonesetter's Daughter"
Margaret Atwood's "The Edible Woman"
Edward Albee's "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf"
What else have I accomplished since coming home?
Well, I've watched tons of Martha Stewart. I've done some chores around this house. I've seen RGuy a lot. I've watched tons of movies. "Snatch" was hilarious, "Spiderman" was good too.
God... hopefully one of the temp agencies will give something to do...
11:47 AM
