s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Saturday, June 15, 2002
I like having a body to cling to. Did I mention that RGuy is nice and sturdy, warm... perfect for clinging to.2:07 PM
Hey guess who else is gonna be at that big party tonight? Guy #2... remember him?
1:12 PM
Friday, June 14, 2002
"Silent Sigh" by Badly Drawn Boy is sorta heartbreaking."Bonnie & Clyde II" by Martina Sorbara is heartbreaking in an ethereal sort of way.
I'm really into my music today...
9:03 PM
I really like the chorus to Chris Isaak's "Cool Love." It's just so smooth...
It makes you think of warm summer nights out on a date (one of my favourite things).
8:45 PM
Tomorow I'm going to visit RGuy. There's a big party happening back at school, and a lot of people will be there.
It'll be awesome to see everyone again.
I wish I could figure out what to do with my life... or just next few days.
My old job offered me a one month placement a few days before the current job I'm at offered me a job for the summer too. So now I am too lucky.
6:43 PM
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Oh God... I just had a rush of warm fuzzy feelings go through me.I think I love RGuy.
These warm fuzzy feelings are not without a hint of despair. Maybe it's almost like a falling feeling. A feeling of letting go, admitting.... "surrendering?"
Like I'm finally giving in.
All this time I thought I'd never be ready.
10:31 PM
I hate gross fat men driving in rush hour in their sweaty suits. They leer, ooozing sleaze. I had a bad incident with one today. He honked at me when I was standing on the sidewalk and so I gave him my middle finger. He was going in the opposite direction and must have turned his car right around. He drove up to me, rolled down his window and screamed:
"YOU C*NT!!! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!? YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH*T!!!"
And now I'm scared to walk home from the bus stop. Guess I shouldn't have been so bold... (??)
8:53 PM
I bumped into some friends of Guy #1's at the subway station, and it was great to see them. They recognized me first, and it was such a surprise! The last time I had seen them was probably months and months ago. We talked for quite a bit, since we were all taking the same bus.
We said our goodbyes as I got off the bus.
Seeing them again has pushed Guy #1 back into the front of my mind. And I remember how much we had in common. He had perfect values, perfect manners... But I also resent him for keeping me at arm's length. I was not his girlfriend, just a girl maybe. But no, I have no doubt in my mind that he cared for me, but the thing is that he didn't care enough to want to try, or even to realize that I would become impatient.
I sent him a quick e-mail today...
8:09 PM
Monday, June 10, 2002
RGuy is the only one in this world that can call me "piggy" affectionately and make me laugh by doing it.Isn't that sorta sick? Haha...
11:34 PM
I just watched "Remember the Titans" - it was really good. I was kinda sceptical about whether I'd like it or not, cause it's about football, a sport I really don't identify with. But I really did. Lots of cute guys ;). Especially Donald Faisson...
Oh yeah - a really good message, and lots of warm fuzzy feelings in that movie too of course.
11:01 PM
Sunday, June 09, 2002
S has had his heart broken by some lying girl - again. And it seems like this happens to him a whole lot. I don't know what to say to him anymore. I sympathised with him the first time. But since then I have gotten to know his martyr nature. So I can't help but not be surprised at this. Not that I think he deserves it, but I know he really vies for my pity, my compassion.I also know that he asked me if I wanted to go out for dessert because I have a weakness for that. I had to go to dinner with relatives, so I said "another night."
10:56 PM
The sun shining through my bedroom windows, filtered through the tall tree out in my yard, is just all the inspiration I need.
6:31 PM
I went to see "Vagina Monologues" this week. It was amazing. I totally recommend it for bringing out the laugh-out-loud-feminist within.
(Wow I'm not even trying to hide what city I write this blog from)
6:30 PM
It's been four months and 8 days. Can you believe it? Who would've thought it?
I still have all my confusing thoughts. Maybe that just comes with the package for me.
He came to visit this weekend, and we had a great time. We went to this publicly owned recreation area where there's a children's amusement park, a petting zoo, picnic areas, bike trails, etc. We walked around in the sun all day, and it was great. Then we ate at Marche's, so just, this weekend was really good.
But I had moments where everything he did just made me crazy. I'm afraid my patience may have worn a little thin a few times. Hopefully he didn't notice....
5:49 PM
I finally have internet access on my computer at home! So I promise I'll be blogging a lot more.
5:15 PM
